So You Want to Try Anal Sex

[Hobby]

We all have that friend-of-a-friend who tried anal sex in high school to disastrous results. If you're interested in trying out anal sex, step one is getting the right anal sex tips. That includes setting aside the stigma and sexual folklore surrounding anal sex; If you're intrigued, go forth and explore without fear of any tired taboos.

Here are some realistic anal sex tips for exploring this new territory—or enhancing what you already know to be a satisfying sexual experience.

1. Overprepare
As with most things, practice makes perfect—and not just because you'll have an idea of the motions to go through before the heat of the moment, but also because practice gives you room to figure out what feels good for you and what doesn't. For anal in particular, it can be helpful to start with a small anal sex toy to use on your own, says Russel Stambaugh, Ph.D, an AASECT-certified sex therapist in Michigan. Once you know your way around the toy, you can move to partnered exploration, he says. This isn't just good for you, it's also good for your partner. You'll be able to give pleasure confidently and instruct your partner on how best to pleasure you.

2. No, Really: Prepare
We all know the punchline of the friend-of-a-friend's high school anal story—and it's not good. (Spoiler alert: it's pooping.) If you're nervous about this, ahem, "side effect" of going in the back, Stambaugh says giving yourself a warm water enema a couple hours beforehand will do the trick. But there's one very important caveat: "Leave time for your body to expel the excess water so it doesn't come out during your big moment," he says. You should also avoid any scented lotions or soaps that could be irritating.

3. You're Ready to Go, but Take it Slow
Armed with your trusty anal beads and freshly enemaed—You. Are. Ready. We're happy for you! But let's take a beat. Whether you're on the giving or receiving end of anal sex, "like anything else that we do with our bodies, it should be consensual and taken slowly to make sure that everyone is comfortable," says relationship and sexuality educator Logan Levkoff. We hope this is obvious, but regardless, it's a good reminder to openly communicate with your partner while trying out new things in the bedroom.

On a similar note, don't try any fancy anal moves during round one. "The idea of stretching your sphincter may sound appealing, but unless you are seriously into intense sensation play, forego the risks of edgier play until you have more experience," advises Stambaugh. "Remember, porn is fantasy, not technical training," he says. Amen.

4. When in Doubt: Lube
Fun fact: "The anus doesn't automatically fully lubricate itself," says Stambaugh. He advises not just using lube, but using a lube you're already familiar with and enjoy. Levkoff agrees and reminds us that anal sex should also be protected. Use a condom. Every time.

5. Check in With Your Partner
We know this is repetitive, but it's important: Check in with your partner multiple times, regardless of if you're giving or receiving. "A partner who takes feedback well, and backs off if anything feels uncomfortable," is just as important as preparing with anal toys before partner play," Stambaugh says.

6. Check in With Yourself
We hope your partner will ask you these questions, but just in case: How are you feeling? What did you enjoy? What felt weird? Did you feel safe and comfortable before, during, and after? "Exploring new sexual territory means being able to say both 'stop' and 'go'," says Stambaugh. "Pain is a signal. If it's not feeling good, back off."

7. Drop the Judgement
If you're curious about anal, or if you already know you enjoy it, set that stigma and sexual lore to the side. It isn't necessarily reflective of reality—and certainly not reflective of your individual experience. "Anal sex should never be a shameful practice. Plenty of people enjoy it," says Levkoff. It might be your thing, or it might not. Either way, no one has the right to judge what's right for you.

https://www.glamour.com/story/anal-sex-tips-women-feel-good