7 Sex Workers on Their Most Hilariously Embarrassing Moments "I made the mistake

[Hobby]

Sex can be funny, and sex work can have just as many awkward, hilarious, totally embarrassing moments as any other job — maybe more. Seven sex workers shared their most cringe-worthy moments on the job with Cosmopolitan.com.

1. "One day, I had two back-to-back clients, both with the same name. I mixed up my notes and ended up doing a cop cavity search role-play scene with my second guy. He seemed a bit surprised upon seeing me in officer gear and explained that he never did a role-play before. My first client ended up getting a sensual session instead of his cop role-play. Oops."  —Domina Devorah

2. "To prepare for anal sex, I have a ritual of masturbating with a vibrator a little to relax my body. I made the mistake of putting a pump of hand sanitizer on my crotch because the pump color was the same as the water-based lube bottle on set. For those who have never experienced alcohol burn on their nethers, consider yourself lucky. It burns. Safe to say I was in no mood for anal after that." —Mia Li

3. "Most of the clients I used to see as an escort were at least vaguely submissive and/or fetishistic and rarely wanted to have full penetrative intercourse with me. Whenever I would get a client who was a more of a dominant top, it was always at least a little bit outside of my comfort zone. One of these came into my room, his mouth tasting faintly of whiskey and breath mints, and almost immediately began aggressively fondling me. He made an almost sadistic sounding half-laugh, half-grunt noise as he did so. Either because he was tipsy or just incompetent at sex, he struggled with the maneuvers required to insert himself inside me. Eventually he slipped and fell face forward, head-butting my nose. I finished him off with my right hand as he stood over me, making his uncomfortable laughing grunts, and I clutched a wad of tissues to my nose, trying to stop the blood flow." —Rebeka Refuse

4. "After a few drinks, I was Skypeing with this really hot, really nerdy webcam client who goes by the name 'Striker.' I started talking about how cool the name Striker is and how it reminds me of Lord of the Rings. We had a really steamy sexy session and then at the end, he gently corrected me to let me know the character I'm referring to is named 'Strider' and I kept getting it wrong the whole time. Clients come to me for the nerd girl experience and I messed up a reference to one of the biggest nerd properties in pop culture. If you need me, I'm still hiding in a cave for the rest of my life." —Ela Darling

5. "I was dancing for a queer strip event called 'Hedonistic Decadence' and I wanted to dress up like a fox, so of course I put my fox tail butt plug in. Shortly thereafter I was performing on stage, and the erratic movements I was doing during my choreography caused it to pop out suddenly. I just quickly tossed it aside trying to play it off smoothly, and as I did, I noticed that it definitely had some poop on it. The poor stage kitten had to retrieve it after that, but fortunately didn't seem to notice or be bothered by the condition of it." —Valentine

6. "I used to do sensual massage work, and it was expected that every client who came to see me would take a quick rinse off in the shower upon arrival. But I had one regular who didn't like to and always had an excuse, and I hated having to argue with him. One day, that guy came in, got undressed, and laid down ... and there, sticking out of his butt, was a tiny piece of TOILET PAPER. I was so mortified! I couldn't think of how to say anything or get rid of it, so I just did the massage without touching that area, but the whole time I couldn't stop staring at that little flickering white tissue, waving at me every time he moved. Needless to say, I never let a client skip the shower again." —Denali Winter

7. "One time, I was sitting on a particularly attractive clients' face, instructing him to 'inhale the delicious aroma of my cunt.' All seemed to be going well until I saw his eyes bulge out of his skull and heard, or felt rather, his muffled cries for mercy beneath me. I pulled away from him to find his nose and mouth lined with blood. For an anxious second I was afraid I'd broken his face somehow until it dawned on me that I'd just gotten my period at a highly inopportune moment." —Sara Tonin

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a49548/sex-workers-on-their-most-hilariously-embarrassing-moments/